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“To the Deserts and the Sand that Divides Us”

from What the Wind Whispers to the Mountain Ear by Seth Walker Poetry

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lyrics

“To the Deserts and the Sand that Divides us”

Tonight I realized that for a poet
who claims to not write love poetry,
I sure write a lot of love poetry.
I just seldom leave it to the page.

Knowing ears are the inevitable end,
I bring these abandoned children
strait to your jewelry adorned doorsteps…
but tonight, again, you’ve not taken my call.

This heart overflowing with need to speak to you,
I am writing, frantically, in a room alone.
More honest than I would be with a voice to respond,
this is my coward’s plea.

*

My life is consumed with women
who’s hearts tie stirrings ‘round my finger while napping.
I don’t cut their cords for the fright of loneliness
or my acceptance of its presence…

But when the night is still,
the movie ends,
the wine bottles have seemingly
emptied themselves again…

I smoke my last cigarette,
stare up into the void, I love you for knowing,
all other desires satiated,
yet still wanting…

My mind quiets, listening to my cravings
with daunting questioning
of what chemical I am lacking now,
I silently know…

If there were ever one to take home,
I don’t question who, just why it was never you.
I am young, restless, wild in my lifestyle,
not wanting your heart on these train tracks…

I don’t let people down easily… I know this.
My words don’t wear padded gloves. I have so many
broken statues from my juggling habits and shooting range;
I never wanted to see you in my shrapnel pile.

The reason I always return,
is that, you don’t want me.
You don’t often answer my calls,
don’t return my messages.

You don’t thirst for honey from my fingers
or the blood of my brain.
Don’t want the seed in my genes.
The anything I hold.

You are okay alone
and I am envious
of your telescope…
I hate the stars you stare at for not being me.

I write this knowing that it will never be read,
Published,
mealed over with fine wines next to a fire’s place,
whispered in an ear.

This poem is the absence in which I think of you;
hurt for your voice like a starving child pleading
with the swarming fruit flies
to leave a taste for the morning.

You are the void, I am too broke to buy whiskey enough to fill.
The absence I won’t admit to having.
The reason more women know me
than cities I remember.

I am ashamed of this addiction.
This movement I cannot stop for survival sake.
I am so fearful I will not mark this world,
I am not letting this world mark me…

I know you never want marriage,
children,
anything more than nights of infatuation…
I know…

We say these same things.
This is our commonality,
our language.
I know my words are that of hatred to love,

but here I am
loving.
My feet stay swift, pose poised to run.
I am always in motion.

Moving backward - Looking forward –
Writing what I’m too scared to feel -
While knowing what I don’t have the courage to admit -
Not admitting what cowardice can’t stop me from feeling -

This is my poison,
these memories I cannot shake.
The oil in my duck feathers that keeps me
from knowing the sensation of soaking wet

I cannot help but shake the drops off.
These waters that fell around us in Houston
when I kissed you in the fountain, falling with the liquid god
more conscious of our thought forms, than we, of our haunting…

I have stared at your pictures
with tears of self-hatred
for wanting to not be a man of knowing
this world and its infinite potential.

My mind, too logical to fall victim to Shakespeare,
“True romance”
“True idealism”
““One” “True””

It is by no “chance” Seth loved the deserts,
my sweet Savannah,
but I am barren of what you deserve;
empty as my third finger,

shallow as I fear I may actually be… I know this
I know I know many things…
like I know I know nothing…
but wanting and avoidance…

running and track covering…
brokenness without excuse…
I am so sorry I never came home…
or made a home to come back to…

credits

from What the Wind Whispers to the Mountain Ear, released April 25, 2013

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Seth Walker Poetry Boulder, Colorado

Seth Walker is Texas' most notorious traveling poet and top ranked slam poet in the world. Seth has performed at venues across the country including Da Poetry Lounge (CA), The Green Mill (IL), & The Nuyorican (NY). Along the way he won: the Utah State Arts Fair Poetry Slam (2009), North Beast Indie Slam North-Eastern Regional 2010), as well as as slamming, with the 2010 Austin Poetry Slam Team and ... more

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